January 2012
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True tales of eerie elevators
Some guy treats me like the invisible little shit I am and some prettier girl walks into the elevator.
Guy: Which floor are you going to?
Girl: 7.
In chivalrous fashion, which again, was not saved for me because I'm an invisible little shit, he pushes the button for him and the girl. The elevator quickly passes my floor.
Me: Oh sweet Christ, here we go again.
It passes the other two's floor. By this time, the guy's breaking a sweat.
Me: *eyes closed* Bah, it's not the first, and I doubt it'll be the last, elevator I get stuck on.
Guy: What'll happen?
Me: The doors will open and then we'll plunge to our impending doom *smile*
Girl: uuuuuuuuuuh *twirls hair, chews gum, eyes widen, breathes heavier*
The elevator doors open at the penthouse, skipping all our floors.
Guy: Well, you enjoy that. Plunging elevators arent't my thing.
The girl, without a word, zipped out.
I smiled and made my way down without plunging to my impending doom. : )
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Please excuse me,
I have a carrot cake to pour my heart into.
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Maybe I did something wrong.
Like letting people in, sweet God what a mistake.
What’s the use when they’ll only make excuses to walk away the same way they walked in?
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CARROT CAKE SAYS THE BIRTHDAY GIRL.
PEACE, BIIIITCHESSSS
Out for lunch.
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jet-za said: 30.media.tumblr.com/tum…
notsospecial said: maricona, deja el freakout. It’s cake, everybody loves cake! that being said something like chocolate and almonds. nutella like cake!
elbraulio said: Arequipe y almendras
ken-and-elig said: Selva Negra Ok, NO to Harry Potter, Black Forest, Arequipe. Something with almonds might be good…chocolate and or nutella is just a...
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@jetza
…es para mi mami y abuela, creo que Jerri Pottel no es la tematica mas apropiada.
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notsospecial replied to your photo: Dudo que haya algo mas humillante que esa foto de…
no vale, esos son billeticos de monopolio. Esa pobre niña nada que ver con el imperio
Monopolio es un juego imperialista que le enseña a nuestra juventud los principios del capitalismo. En este país se juega con trompa y perinola xD
Gente, es en serio:
DE QUE LES GUSTARIA SU TORTA DE CUMPLE???
Antes que me de una crisis pastelera aqui….
erospainter:
DOMINATION by erospainter
For most of the world, domination is a sign of anger and suppression, yet in the context of a leather scene it can be an act of caring and affection. As children we were taught that submission is a sign of weakness, yet in our realm submission becomes a voluntary surrender of power and an act worthy of respect. To some, bondage is a cruel affliction to...
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skinny-cat replied to your quote: mi estrategia es que un día cualquiera no sé…
thats friend Nationalized my friend
asmdfhabgskfhaskfjhasjkfhasf
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I have a small problem and I need your help,...
I NEED TO MAKE A CAKE THE 24TH OF JANUARY FOR MY MOTHER’S AND GRANDMOTHER’S BIRTHDAY PARTY AND MY MIND IS BLANK.
No fucking clue what I want to make them, my mom’s back after 8 months of absence and with my father no less so there’s pressure.
Nerves and me blank.
Just throw some things around in my ask. What kind of cake you’d like to eat on your birthday and such,...
“mi estrategia es
que un día cualquiera
no sé cómo ni sé
con qué pretexto
por...”
– Mario Benedetti, “Tactica y Estrategia”
#ForeverInTheFriendZone
skinny-cat said: dudo que esa sea la traduccion precisa pero ok…. fuckin chinos y sus maneras de hablar indirectas
es perfectamente factible que la traduccion de ese guion haya sido como minimo MUY BIEN traducido precisamente por su manera de hablar/construccion de gramatica y tal.
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Watching ENTER THE DRAGON
NIGGAS IN HONG KONG WOOOOOOOO
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From "Enter The Dragon"
Shaolin monk: Tell me, what is the highest technique that you wish to achieve?
Bruce Lee: To have no technique.
Shaolin monk: Very good, and what do you think of when facing an opponent?
Bruce Lee: There is no opponent.
Shaolin monk: And why is that?
Bruce Lee: Because the word "I" does not exist.
Something feels terribly wrong, out of place...
But I don’t know what, or pride prevents me from coming to terms with.
So I tried thinking about home remedies for the blues and realized that self-destruction in all its forms is the only way I know how to cope.
No Grandma:
The overlock power cable is not in the kitchen. Get out of there.
I would like to think our paths are straight
Disconnected from choices we make
That there is no reason why it can’t be like you said
One day it’s gonna happen
I dont know when
I’ll be on your street
But I know one day it’s gonna happen
You’re gonna be swept off your feet
I would like someone to make a map
Mark my home and draw some lines that match
All of the...
Vainas de familia
Yo: Ay gracias Abuela! (*Me recuesto en su cama recien tendida*)
Abuela: No jodas webona que blahblahblah
Yo: (*me paro*) Sabes que hay un dicho que la gente se debe amar cuando menos lo merece...
Abuela: Pues y usted lo merece.
Yo: Y usted no, dejese de mariqueras, me dijistes WEBONA. Pero te quiero.
Woke up early for jack shit.
Ran, did some yoga.
Now where’s my food???
Oh Internet, you bore me tonight.
Why am I not watching Breaking Dawn and laughing my ass off again? Oh right, waiting for the BluRay xD
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Juvenile “Back That Azz Up”
Good memories.
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WHY IS EVERYONE SO OFFENDED I'M WATCHING TWILIGHT
dskzero:
AND NO ONE REALLY CARED ABOUT MY MENTAL SANITY WHEN I WATCHED THE WHOLE AMITYVILLE HORROR SERIES
YOU GUYS DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME
*hugs*
It was just another “horror” movie you were digesting, I was sure you were watching it to score some pussy.