February 2012
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adictoalcafe said: Una ‘lady’ que dice muchas groserías u_u xD Gracias vale <3
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@adictoalcafe
VERGA ES TU CUMPLEEEEEEEE
Sorry, te quedas sin TT mio pero igual que la pases genial :3
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Straight from the shrink's mouth
Me: So what about my phobia with the gym? What the fuck is up with that?
Shrink: Did someone hit you at the gym? Did someone hit on you at the gym? Do you feel inferior to people at the gym?
Me: No, I just would rather hide from it and I don't understand why. I'll sleep all day when I know I should be at the gym or just generally working out.
Shrink: Did anyone in your family tell you or give you the impression that you should be working out?
Me: All the time.
Shrink: You're subconscious doesn't allow you to because they consciously and verbally want you to.
Me: Well, fuck.
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“Well, some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away...”
– Chris, Sean Penn’s “Into The Wild”
Just another reason I'm going to hell.
Me: sits down in café chair, gets cozy, kicks cat, le gasp
Cat: MEOW
Me: OMGZ I’M SO SORRY MISTER KITTY, PLEASE DON’T HATE ME YOUR FAT FURRINESS
Cat: MEEEEOW
Me: pets cat, cat gives puppy eyes I SAID I’M SORRY DAMMIT
Cat: MEEEEEEOOOOOOOW
Me: ….don’t aggravate my allergies, please leave.
Cat: le staring contest with me, then leaves
I'm rereading the message I just sent and figure...
BLAHBLAHBLAHPERIODIWANNAKICKMYOVARIESANDYOURECIPIENTOFTHISMESSAGEINTHEBALLSBUTBEFOREYOUGOHERESAKISS
…and this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I’m single.
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#youfilthybitch
You mad?
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You led me on with those innocent eyes
And you know I love the element of surprise
On the one thing I know how to do best
Me: I don't wanna talk to him. He didn't necessarily do anything bad, if anything he was honest.
Friend: Stop feeling bad. Just do what you did with _________ and block him everywhere.
Me: Leaving the country would be much easier...
Friend: Yeah, you've gotten pretty good at that.
I feel like slappinaniggatoday
SLAP SLAP
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Surviving one's period basically boils down to...
A heat source in/on/around your pelvic region, extra-strength Advil, and amazing sweets.
Anything less and it was a shitty month.
Ok @killleo
YOU’RE MY DREAM STUDENT XD
You better make me chocolate chip cookies and shit…#tunztunz #ploploplo
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killleo replied to your post: Last Valentine’s Day, an older student gave me lots of Oolong tea from Taiwan.
did you rape him for that?
First of all, you can’t call it rape if both parties like it. xD
Second, no; he used to give me boxes of cigarettes and let me smoke in the middle of class and everything. A freaking dream student. I would just show up, teach, and get paid AND...
Last Valentine's Day, an older student gave me...
He said it was good for the soul, and that he knew I wasn’t in a relationship, that it seemed to him that I was of a different breed of young folk and that I could probably make good use of those bags.
I still have a bag of that tea floating in this apartment. A bit wouldn’t hurt.
My parents were watching THE BIGGEST LOSER and...
Mind you, my dad pushes 200 lbs.
I just stared at him and yelled YOU DICK, WHAT, SO SHE ISN’T SHOWING SOME BONE? and things finally started to make sense in my parents heads.
It appears not only are they emotionally retarded, but that it’s also hereditary.
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It's quite impressive how people get you amped for...
and then later expect you to act like nothing happened, like everything should remain as was.
Maybe I’m easily disappointed or a ginormous pussy but that’s me, that’s how I roll.
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Quien se esta escondiendo del mundo en su...
THAT’S RIGHT, THIS MOI!
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“Siento que voy a enloquecer de nuevo. Creo que no podemos pasar otra vez por una...”
– Virginia Woolf; ultima carta a su esposo. (via abretubocaa)
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Accept the duality behind the concept that you can...
“Old-school” to some is conventional, to others is alternative or dated. The concepts embraced by post-modernism might be conventional to some, yet foolish to others. So stop lamenting how people aren’t how you think they should be and accept they just are; some might like it, others won’t. Why bother when it’s these differences that make us pathetically human and...
Judging by the music on the bus
This bus driver faps alone. Seriously.
He’ll walk into his house with three cats, leave his coat on the couch, make himself dinner for one and light some candles….and then furiously masturbate to his sorrow.
It still amazes me that there are pills to make...
but there aren’t any pills to help you feel like less of a failure.
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She lay in bed all night watching the colours change She lay in bed all night watching the morning change She lay in bed all night watching the morning change into green and gold The doctor told her years ago that she was ill The doctor told her years ago to take a pill The doctor told her years ago that she’d go blind if she wasn’t careful They let Lisa go blind The world was...
“Cuando uno se acostumbra a no conseguir nunca lo que desea, ¿Sabes que pasa? Que...”
– Haruki Murakami (via afterbite)
January 2012
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Hay algo muy lindo en que el novio de tu amiga te...
Que lo tiene duro pensando en sus escapadas con ELLA, no los senos de __________, en su NOVIA como la teoria nos dice que debe ser.
No, es en serio.
Me hizo dejar de pensar en modo de “solteria apestosa” y me pongo en modo de “……jaaaaaaaaaaaaaay que lindosssss <3<3<3”